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20.4.11
18.3.11
Before the Earth was Flat
(A fable inspired by the earliest known exhibit in the Museum of the Entirety of History (MEH), as told to a group of 3rd graders on a field trip to MEH by Ruth C. Rafferty, MEH Children's Programs Assistant Director and amateur fabulist. Transcribed by Borgine Bergitte with help from Estee Conahef.)
Even before it was flat, and well before it was round, the earth was shaped like a giant staircase. It had long, flat steps that ended abruptly at tall, earthen walls, which took up again as a higher step in a gradual ascent.
Even before it was flat, and well before it was round, the earth was shaped like a giant staircase. It had long, flat steps that ended abruptly at tall, earthen walls, which took up again as a higher step in a gradual ascent.
Diagram of the Earth's Layers, by Ruth C. Rafferty
Used by permission
On each step there existed precisely one animal species, which were organized more or less by size. The first thousand or so steps had various microorganisms, insects on the next few thousand, then crustaceans, fish, birds, etc. on up until you get certain big cats, humans, bears, mammals of the sea, and so on. The human step was the 2,470,0856th step, one step above chimpanzees, and one step beneath ostriches.
The populations of each species were small, and either vegetarian or, in the case of sharks and tigers, cannibalistic. To each animal species, the particular step on which they existed was the whole world, and for a long time, no species was aware of the other species on steps above and below them.
Then one day, one of the humans on the human step discovered the edge, and noticed that far, far below was more earth. This was fascinating in and of itself, and it garnered the attention of a moderately sized group of the humans, who spent quite a bit of time studying the edge and the ground far below. Within a few months, the group at the edge founded The Society for the Study of the World Below, and met twice a week to see what they could see. But they couldn't see much, because the next step was a great distance away.
With the invention of the binoculars (which, in our round earth, were only reinvented in the 17th Century), it wasn't long before a member of The Society for the Study of the World Below first spotted a chimpanzee, whom they named Jim. With the discovery of Jim, The Society for the Study of the World Below was renamed, The Society for the Study of Non-Human Species, and membership grew at an astonishing rate. According to the records, 99.3% of the population of humans joined the Society following the discovery of Jim.
Soon better binoculars were manufactured, and more chimpanzees were spotted. One by one entire villages relocated to the edge, fan clubs for favorite chimpanzees were started by precocious youth, and the binocular business was booming. 99.3% of the humans spent nearly all of their time crowding around the edge observing the chimpanzees. Little else got done-- music, art, and literature came to a standstill, few inventions were made, and the growth rate of the population of humans began to decline for the first time since the origin of the species. With the discovery of the chimpanzees, the human species had entered the first dark age.
The Universe Creators, whoever they are, must have realized that the step-like world just wasn't working, because before long they flattened it out to one enormous plane. All animals were born into a world in which other animals lived, and the existence of other animals became a mundane fact of life.
Though the diversification of species is considered by most to be an improvement, there were still the obvious complications with a flat earth - rotational issues, seasonal problems, the erratic behavior of gravity, etc. - and just before the birth of Christopher Columbus, or maybe the vikings, or even perhaps indigenous Americans, the Creators of the Universe redesigned the earth as a sphere.
28.2.11
Nice Hair
Within a period of three months, without the use of dyes or any other external process, the girl went from being a blonde to a redhead. In truth, the actual period of transition was most likely much longer, but it took awhile for the people with whom she was primarily associated to notice. Indeed, by the time the first person noticed (it was her great aunt), the red color of her hair was already well-advanced.
However, after the initial comment (by her great aunt), she began to receive similar comments with surprising and increasing frequency. Everytime she heard it, she thought about what she thought about redheads—a trajectory of evolving thought that had begun some fourteen years ago during a conversation with her father.
Their conversation that morning, though as casual and idle as it was most mornings, had remained within a surface scratch in her mind, accessible and easily recalled whenever she saw a redhead (until she herself became one) or whenever someone identified her as a redhead (which, of course, was a recent development). Her father, casually, but with the confidence that comes with years of experience, had said, or rather, declared in his subtle way, that redheads were either very beautiful or very ugly.
For a few moments, the confidence with which he had made the statement had its influence on the girl, and she had stored the knowledge into her mind’s budding collection of “universal facts.” Then she thought of her best friend, a redhead who was not particularly pretty, but couldn’t be considered ugly either, and she reminded her father, “What about Grace?” He thought for a moment and admitted that Grace was an exception.
In the days and years that followed, each time the girl saw a redhead she would evaluate whether the redhead’s level of attractiveness supported or contradicted her father’s statement. During those fourteen years, the girl had seen quite a few very beautiful redheads, quite a few very ugly redheads, and many, many redheads who fell somewhere in between.
Now that the girl had begun to think of herself as a redhead, she wondered if she were to see herself somewhere as a stranger, on the train or standing in front of her in line to buy a water bottle or banana, would she consider herself to evidence or refute her father’s worldly wisdom.
However, after the initial comment (by her great aunt), she began to receive similar comments with surprising and increasing frequency. Everytime she heard it, she thought about what she thought about redheads—a trajectory of evolving thought that had begun some fourteen years ago during a conversation with her father.
Their conversation that morning, though as casual and idle as it was most mornings, had remained within a surface scratch in her mind, accessible and easily recalled whenever she saw a redhead (until she herself became one) or whenever someone identified her as a redhead (which, of course, was a recent development). Her father, casually, but with the confidence that comes with years of experience, had said, or rather, declared in his subtle way, that redheads were either very beautiful or very ugly.
For a few moments, the confidence with which he had made the statement had its influence on the girl, and she had stored the knowledge into her mind’s budding collection of “universal facts.” Then she thought of her best friend, a redhead who was not particularly pretty, but couldn’t be considered ugly either, and she reminded her father, “What about Grace?” He thought for a moment and admitted that Grace was an exception.
In the days and years that followed, each time the girl saw a redhead she would evaluate whether the redhead’s level of attractiveness supported or contradicted her father’s statement. During those fourteen years, the girl had seen quite a few very beautiful redheads, quite a few very ugly redheads, and many, many redheads who fell somewhere in between.
Now that the girl had begun to think of herself as a redhead, she wondered if she were to see herself somewhere as a stranger, on the train or standing in front of her in line to buy a water bottle or banana, would she consider herself to evidence or refute her father’s worldly wisdom.
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